Inspired by Tony Miles’ famous two-word book review, several readers have offered suggestions for chess books that should never be written. There are more on Kingpin’s Facebook page.


They say that everyone has a crap book in them, so please send us your ideas!

Gazza 1 eps

 (Mig Greengard)


My Great Processors

by Deep Blue

(Jon Levitt)


Requiem: the Art of Chessplayer Obituary

by N. Short



Ray Keene’s Best Chess Annotations

by Byron Jacobs

(Jon Levitt)


The Joys of Publishing Other People’s Research

by Christian Hesse

(Olimpiu Urcan)


Beam Me Up Scotty! A Buddhist Reflects

by Kirsan Ilyumzhinov

(Colin Crouch)



In His Own Words: Selected Journalism of Ray Keene

(Tom Chivers)



A Killer Opening Repertoire for Black, Vol.19: The Berlin Defence

by Vladimir Kramnik



How, One Lazy Afternoon, I Invented Chess

by S. Reuben

(David Robertson)


Chesss Grdnmasteres in Profil

by Dimirtjee Bjellca

(Olimpiu Urcan)

weird cover_Layout 1 jpg (Sarah Hurst)



Why Is This Lying Bastard Lying To Me?

The Interviews of Dirk Jan ten Geuzendam

(Justin Horton)


How I Won the World Correspondence Chess Championship

by Jeroen Piket, with a foreword by Tim Krabbé

(Mark Thornton)


The Inner Shame: How Women Shouldn’t Dress in Chess

by Dominic Lawson 

(Justin Horton)

 the corrections_WINTER 1

(Sarah Hurst)


Plunder, Prey, Paste: The Idiot’s Guide to Unscrupulous Chess Journalism

by Susan Polgar and Paul Truong 

(Olimpiu Urcan)


Chess Patriarchy: The False Consciousness of the So-Called Powerful Queen: A feminist critique

by Mary Allnuttah 

(Charles Crawford)


Indiscriminate Tweeting

by Mark Crowther

(Olimpiu Urcan)


 My Ten Political Heroes

by Bobby Fischer

(Sarah Hurst)


 Touch and Move: Grooming Champions

by Brian Eley (BBC/Savile Press)



Vladimir Putin’s History of Ukrainian Chess

(Sarah Hurst)


My 604,999,999 Memorable Opponents

by A. Paulson with foreword by B.S. deRigueur (Penguin)  

(Tristan Clayton)

 See also

More #crapchessbooks



  1. Dan Scoones says:

    How to Play the English Press by Raymond Keene
    How Not to Beat Gary Kasparov by Alexei Suetin

  2. Dan Scoones says:

    Correction: How Not to Beat Gary Kasparov by Alexei Shirov

  3. Neil Sullivan says:

    My One Great Contribution to Chess (Literature) by Cyrus Lakdawala.

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